


Heartsigh

by oops (hobbes1234)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fanfiction of Fanfiction, Female Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-06-12 01:51:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15329055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hobbes1234/pseuds/oops
Summary: Harry stood with the back to him, thick snowflakes dancing around her and landing softly on her hair and dark coat. Her colours, always striking, were even brighter in the snowy landscape. As she turned her head to the side he saw a flash of a lovely smile, a blush high on her cheeks and nose and sparkling eyes. Tom felt a tightness in his chest. How he had missed her. He could never look his fill when it came to Harry. All the lights from the shops weren’t as bright as her, all the warmth they cast could not match hers. She looked mesmerizing in the snow and Tom, frankly, needed a moment.--Tom is 15 years old and at Hogwarts. It’s Christmas time and Harry meets him in Hogsmeade.Inspired by slexenskee's crawlersout!





	1. Tom

**Author's Note:**

  * For [slexenskee (Sambomaster)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sambomaster/gifts).
  * Inspired by [crawlersout](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3340028) by [slexenskee (Sambomaster)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sambomaster/pseuds/slexenskee). 



It was the first Hogsmeade weekend of December. Already the snow was falling and turning the small village into a winter wonderland, colourful candies and glittering Christmas gifts decorated the shop windows. The path was lively with chatters and laughter from his fellow students, shop doors opened and closed with bell-ringing, releasing warmth into the cold for short moments.

 

A group of giggling girls walked past him, shooting him glances and blushing when he looked back. Tom frowned at them and they hurried along, with even more giggling if that were possible. Honestly, girls. Were they taught how to giggle and blush whenever they saw a boy? Always huddled in groups and whispering behind hands and dropping their gaze only to look at you again through batting eyelashes when you try to hold a normal conversation. He couldn’t see how that would make them more appealing to the opposite sex. And yet he saw some of his fellow male students hand in hand with a girl every now and then, and, Merlin’s beard, giggling along (was that contagious?). Well, that was one science he didn’t bother to understand. What a waste of time, he thought, they should all be sticking their heads into books rather than wasting money and breath on dates and giggling for Salazar’s sake.

 

But no matter, he had better things to focus on. He was close to The Three Broomsticks now. The snow was falling heavier now, and more people were headed to the warm pub. He slowed down and skimmed the street. His heart skipped a beat. There, not far from the pub, a shock of red hair. Harry stood with the back to him, thick snowflakes dancing around her and landing softly on her hair and dark coat. Her colours, always striking, were even brighter in the snowy landscape. As she turned her head to the side he saw a flash of a lovely smile, a blush high on her cheeks and nose and sparkling eyes. Tom felt a tightness in his chest. How he had missed her. He could never look his fill when it came to Harry. All the lights from the shops weren’t as bright as her, all the warmth they cast could not match hers. She looked mesmerizing in the snow and Tom, frankly, needed a moment.

 

As he drew nearer he realized that she was talking to someone, or rather, one of his classmates, a Gryffindor to boot, judging by the colour of his scarf, was chatting her up. Worse still, he made her laugh and smile. Tom scowled. None of that. He quickened his pace.

 

“Harry.”

 

Harry turned around and Tom was greeted with a bright smile and a cheerful “Tom!” before being crushed in a warm hug.  
Over her shoulder, he gave the Gryffindor who had been talking to her a piercing glare. With wide eyes and some stammering he excused himself and left them. Tom held tight to Harry and melted into their embrace. It was the best place in the world, being in Harry’s arms. He would never tire of this.

 

“Tom. How are you? Oh, I’ve missed you so.”

 

She drew back to look up at his face. Bright emeralds enwrought in dark long lashes, edged in cold-ridden, blushing skin and  framed by long red tresses. A smile worth a thousand suns. It was so easy to lose himself looking at this perfect face that he loved so much. He smiled.

 

“I’m good. I missed you, too, Harry.”

 

“I swear, you’ve grown a few inches again!”

 

 

They took a table by the window, both enjoying some butterbeer.  
Harry asked him about his schoolwork and told him about Spot getting fatter since it had gotten colder and he lacked movement but not food. He told her about how he felt a bit underwhelmed by the curriculum, again, and that he preferred studying on his own in the quite resourceful library’s restricted section most of the time. Nothing new, but he enjoyed their conversations very much.  
People were casting them looks every now and then but he ignored them. By this time, he had gotten used to people staring at Harry wherever they went. Try as she might to be inconspicuous, her nature and colouring just screamed the opposite—and it didn’t help that she looked young and pretty when surrounded by adolescent idiots. He couldn’t refrain from giving one or two of the males in the pub a scathing look when Harry wasn’t watching. She was so oblivious of her effect on others, it was infuriating.

 

She gave him a twinkling smile.

 

“So…what do you do besides hogging all the books in the library? Any new hobbies? Something exciting?”

 

He looked at her confusedly. “What do you mean?”

 

“I’ve noticed giggling girls around you before. And that table there keeps staring at you. I think they are trying to decide who should walk up to you and ask you out!”

 

Sure enough, as soon as he spared the table in question a glance the giggling rose again. More blushing. Tom scowled. Harry looked too amused by his irritation.

“Funny, Harry. I don’t see what you mean.”

 

“Oh Tom, anyone with eyes can see you’ve grown into a handsome lad. Who’s got brains, too!” She laughed heartily at his glare.

“I’m just saying you’ve got options and that I hope you’ll tell me if someone catches your eyes.”

 

He rolled his eyes. She looked at him with kindness and touched his hand, leaning forward.

 

“I just want to see you happy. And I know books make you happy like nothing else, but sometimes a person can surprise and excite you, too.”

 

Tom stared at her. You make me happy, he thought. He didn’t need anyone else in his life. No blushing, giggling, pretty face. Just Harry was enough. Everyone else was a waste of time and grated on his nerves most of the time. How could she not see that?  
He looked down at their hands. A new pretty bracelet adorned her slender wrist. He frowned.

 

“What about you? How is Gellert?”

 

Harry hesitated. Tom met her eyes when she drew back her hand. “He is fine. He…sends his regards. He is looking forward to your mentoring during your days off.”

 

He searched her eyes. “Do you see him often?”

 

“He is around sometimes…well, yes. Oh you know him. He’ll be here and there and…”

Harry fumbled with a napkin and couldn’t quite meet his eyes. “He’s…well, I do enjoy his presence so…” Was she blushing? She looked at him again.

 

“Oh hell, Tom, I just wished you two would get along better.”

 

“I don’t know what you mean. I’m perfectly civil with him.”

She gave him an unimpressed look. Then she sighed. They had had this talk before. And like today, there was no conclusion.

 

  
It simply stung. Tom hated Gellert for being someone who diverted her attention from Tom, who was enigmatic and charismatic enough to hold her interest. And who has the potential to be more than just a friend. Despite all that he had to grudgingly admit that the man’s competence and expertise was admirable.

 

As time went by, Tom’s need to study and grow up faster never ceased, but the reasons for this need changed, or rather, they became clearer to him. He had always wanted to prove himself to the world at large what he was capable of, to show them all how he stood above the rest of them. But more and more he wanted to prove himself to Harry that he was someone she could depend on, someone who could give her anything and make her happy the way she made him happy. He wanted power to move on from being a little helpless orphan who depended on his saviour to stand side by side with Harry. And there shouldn’t be anyone else taking up the other side of her.  
He didn’t want to share her ever.

 

And imagining Gellert becoming more than just a friend to Harry was near unbearable. Tom knew that Harry was objectively stunning. From her complexion to her poise, nothing compared to her. Once you got to know her character you were bound to love her. It wasn’t lost to him and he had long grown into a young man not ignorant of the love between a man and a woman, but simply unimpressed by the young women surrounding him—except for this one. He didn’t know, yet, where his boundaries lay and he felt confused and scared to admit to something beyond a child’s adoration for its guardian angel—but she was so much more, she was everything to him.


	2. Gellert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Pillow talk, and an unhappy ending some time in the future.

 

“Have you told him?”

 

“I- what? No, I- it’s not like we’re…dating!” she stared at him with wide eyes.

“Also, this won’t happen again. I’m- I’m sorry Gellert…”

 

Gellert chuckled. “You’ve said that after the first time, too. And after the second time. And after the third. And—“

 

Harry’s eyes widened and her face turned bright red as she tried to cover his mouth with a hand. “—after the fourth. And fifth—“ He laughed at her useless attempt to shut him up, catching both her wrists in his hands and pulling her closer. She gasped as she lost her balance. 

 

“Gellert.”

 

“Harry.”

 

They lay flush against each other, chest to chest, lips almost touching. He meant to make a point here but found himself lost in sparkling emerald green eyes, again. Beautiful thick tresses tickled the sides of his face, the sun pouring through the strands made her hair look like fire engulfing their heads in flames. She looked ethereal.

Gellert enjoyed the feel of her breasts on his chest, the touch of hot skin on skin, the brush of her breath on his lips.

 

He reached up for a gentle kiss. It was soft and sweet, and Harry melted above him with a sigh. He moved his hands down her sides slowly as Harry deepened the kiss. He felt himself stir against her thigh again. Her tongue slipped into his mouth and he welcomed it with his own. Harry’s hands started to wander down his chest as her hips moved against his. Gellert tightened his grip. Her hands went further down.

 

“Harry” he moaned. “Didn’t you- _ah_ \- didn’t you say,” Merlin, she was talented. “-that this won’t happen again?” He was panting too hard to sound smug. Harry grinned and removed her hand.

 

“Well, I can stop if you-“

 

“Oh, don’t you dare!”

 

Gellert flipped them around so he was gazing down at her. Harry laughed in surprise and glee, her eyes screwing almost shut and her nose scrunching up. The urge to kiss it was overwhelming. How could someone so adorable and perfect exist?

 

“Gellert, it tickles,” she giggled breathlessly.  

 

 

 

She was utterly bewitching.

 

 

 

  

\-----------------------

 

„I said I would not stand by and watch the world burn because of you!“

 Furious tears ran down Harry’s face from deep emerald wells, her wand aimed point blank at the Dark Lord, its tip crackling with bolts of lightning. She was wrapped in an unearthly glow. Her form was aflame, hair sizzling, the hem of her cloak flapping in the wind- the edges of her being were flickering, searing the air. She was blazing with anger, literally. Standing before Gellert was the Wrath of God personified- or simply God.

A Goddess of fury, of incandescent power, unforgiving- and he was at her mercy.

  

How did it come to this? Gellert wondered as he cowered before his love, the threads of his life seemingly slipping through his fingers by the second, his precious Elder Wand _broken_ somewhere at his feet.

Even now, he thought, cracking a crooked smile, as his knees gave out under the oppressive presence of the Master of Death, even now his fascination for her eclipsed his fear of her retribution.

He had never seen anything as overpoweringly beautiful as Harry standing in all her deathly glory, coming into her own. What an honour to be the sole focus of her magnificence if only for one ephemeral moment of her eternity. He drank in the viridescent light of her piercing eyes, refusing to look away from Death.

Here now all of his mistakes were irrevocable, his final chance to redeem himself forfeited. And yet, he did not regret the path he had chosen. If he were to fall by the hands of Harry- well, he could make peace with that.

The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death- cloaked in vermilion and emerald green. How could he ever think he could win this fight? His body, mind and soul never stood a chance, for he had already lost his heart to Harry a long time ago.

 

She was his fate.

 

 

  

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think Harry would kill anyone though! Thanks for reading:)


	3. Harry

_“…Indeed, it is astounding how the vast Muggle as well as magical population is quick to condemn the ancient Shamanic and Ceremonial Traditions of the Aztec Medicine Lineage as practiced in Mesoamerica as nothing but vile sacrificial rituals and Dark Magic, when really, if you cared to look deeper and beyond the occasional necessary sacrifice you would realize how successful they were in healing the most wicked curse injuries, saving calamity befallen villages, let alone their ability to converse with spirits and transfer magical cores (--maybe souls, even?). I understand sacrificing the living in rituals is a difficult matter, yet I cannot help thinking of all the possibilities, the limits we could push further. I find it more barbaric that we would leave such knowledge rest for centuries until it vanished from all records, unexamined and untried with our modern equipment and resources. I cannot fathom how much knowledge is lost through time throughout the world! How many answers to our problems may lie in the past and are now unobtainable, forever obscured by distrust, fear, ignorance and eventually time? How can we ever claim to having discovered and invented something new when we cannot be certain that it is something already seen and tried before but now lost in history? It is infuriating and humbling at the same time. It is utterly fascinating and I…”_

Harry smiled down at the letter in her hands. Oh Tom. It was predictable that he would be impressed and not appalled by the horrid idea of sacrificing people as a means to whatever end. She shuddered. At least in necromancy you didn’t have to kill...somehow, disturbing the dead seemed more appealing than mass sacrifices – which might be true, but oh, for Merlin’s sake, how could she even think of necromancy appealing in any way?

 

She shook her head in bewilderment and slight disgust. Clearly, she had spent too much time in the company of dark  ~~lords~~   _wizards_ that she would shrug at Tom’s controversial opinions with _fondness_. Merlin save us all, she should be more worried about his new insights and ideas. At least she vowed to keep an eye on Tom’s future rituals, she guessed some lines had to be drawn and human sacrifices are definitely absolutely unquestionably horrible and taboo in this household.

 

And then she remembered a moment a long time ago, a graveyard, a hand sullied with betrayal, sharp silver biting into her arm, hot blood dripping, feeding into a vile cauldron—into a man, a snake, a  _monster_ , so far removed from a human and from humanity…nothing like Tom. Another cold shiver ran down her back. No. She will never allow her Tom to walk down such a foul path, ever.

 

She sighed. Well, as soon as he’ll come back she’ll not allow it. Right now, though, who knows where he might be, what he was up to. This letter was from two weeks ago, she had made it a habit to reread Tom’s letters daily.

 

A pained expression crossed her face. She missed him so much. It’s been half a year since…since that awful night. When they had their fight. He left then, angry and hurt, ignoring her pleas and calls. He had just graduated. She didn’t know were he vanished to until two days later when an owl dropped a short note. “I’ll be travelling the world. Please don’t worry.”

 

And “I’m sorry.”

 

Truth be told, that note didn’t alleviate her fears in the slightest. Where in the bloody world? For how long? How could she ever not worry? And sorry for what? For fighting with her? For leaving so abruptly? For something he is planning on doing? Like not coming back?

 

For confessing?

 

She swallowed at the thought. After spending nights and days after his departure crying and despairing she spent weeks and months replaying the event in her mind over and over again, mulling over it until it drove her crazy.

 

She was glad that Tom would at least write to her about his travels on a regular basis, though she couldn’t always respond to him, sometimes he was so far away and in the deepest corner of the world that the owls, or other birds of prey returned her letters with exhausted, bewildered hooting (or similar birdy noises). Some reached their destination but Tom refused to talk about that night and she let it be. She was content with the sincere and open way he described to her the wonders of the world and his experience, his genuine fascination with it all and all of his thoughts on dark magic uncensored (or so she hoped).

In this regard, he didn’t mind sharing his feelings knowing of her tolerance and she was relieved to see his upbringing with access to the dark arts helped him pursue his passion and allowed him to confide in her.

 

She looked at Spot lounging in a massive pile by the fireplace, enjoying the warmth away from the cold and heavy rain outside. He wasn’t any help, either. He seemed to have seen it all coming, thank you very much for the lack of warning. Though obviously just as hurt for being left behind by Tom, Spot was less confused and more exasperated with Harry than anything. If snakes could roll their eyes, well, Spot made a sport out of it and Harry was the receiver for a few days when she tried to make sense of Tom’s behaviour by asking for Spot’s insights. He gave up on her after the third snake analogy of not-mother and hatchling growing up she didn’t comprehend.

Harry huffed and scowled at the giant snake. Lazy, useless, fat reptile, she thought.

 

Suddenly, he raised his head and flickered his tongue, eyes wide and alert.

 

Harry jumped when someone knocked on the door.

 

 _Tom_ , she thought, her heart beating wildly. She narrowly beat Spot on their sprint to the door. Lazy, useless but fast reptile, she thought mindlessly, tearing open the door.

 

A cold wet wind blew into her face, tousled her hair. She blinked against the droplets. Finally, after endless months, her eyes found a familiar pair of dark blue orbs.

 

“Harry”

 

Her eyes grew misty, “Oh, _Tom_ ”

And she threw herself into his arms, into the rain, and squeezed him as hard as she could. He held her just as tight. She couldn’t stop the sobs and felt Tom shudder in her arms. Eventually, her sobs turned into hiccups. Soon she started laughing in relief and was joined by Tom while Spot hissed noisily and danced around them despite the rain.

 

Harry felt warm in Tom’s embrace and for the first time in half a year she felt peace in her heart. Their breaths evened out, their grips loosened. She didn’t know how long they stood like that, but by the time they pulled back and walked into the house they were soaked wet. At some point Spot had returned to his place by the fire, satisfied to see his master returned in good health and leaving the both of them alone.

 

They still held hands when they turned to drink in the sight of each other again. It seemed like Tom had matured some more during his time away. His tall stature has gained at least one more inch. His face, always pale and thin, had grown into its aristocratic features, sharp cheekbones now more prominent with the slightest hue of rose, jaw chiselled to perfection. A devastatingly handsome face shining with maturity and inborn nobility and eyes brimming with emotions.

That startled her. She had never seen such depth and seriousness in his eyes, focused on her. This level of intensity was new and overwhelming. She couldn’t begin to read his emotions, it felt like looking into a deep stormy ocean, being sucked into a maelstrom and drowning, drowning, drowning.

 

Suddenly, her heart beat faster again.

 

Tom swallowed and blinked against a raindrop falling from his wet hair. For all his stately poise he looked so vulnerable, too, and raw, as if the rain had washed away his immaculacy and laid bare a genuineness to him that the world rarely got to see. Stripped from his perfect mask honed over the years for the general public, from his untouchability, now stood before her a boy she knew so well with eyes heavy with hope and fear alike. Simply Tom, hopeful and ready for love in a cruel and lonely world.

 

All at once, their proximity was too much to bear.

 

“Let me…”, she murmured, taking a step back and quickly casting a drying spell over both of them. She willed her heart to calm down and took a deep breath before smiling brightly at him.

 

“Tom, it’s so good to see you! You’ve grown again! Since when are you back? Are you hungry? I think there’s still some pizza we could warm up if Spot didn’t steal it—“

  
“I’m sorry,” Tom interrupted her, surprising her. It was his turn to take a deep breath, and then it rushed out of him.

 

“I’m sorry for leaving on bad terms. I promised I wouldn’t do that ever again, but I couldn’t help myself. I’m- I’m really sorry for leaving you.”

He closed his eyes to collect himself. When he opened them again he had a determined look. Harry waited, stunned into silence by the sudden apology.

  
“But I’m not sorry for how I feel. About you.”

 

Harry sucked in a breath. Oh hell, this felt like a déja-vu. “Tom—“

 

“I’m not sorry for what I said that night. Maybe—maybe I could have said it in a different manner, but all the same. I’m not sorry for that, when it’s the truth. When it’s real.”

 

“Tom—“

 

“Harry, please” He pulled her closer with the hand still holding hers. She followed, too shocked to do anything else, transfixed with his beseeching eyes.

 

“Please, listen” _Please understand._ “I’ve seen so many wonders, so much magic in this world. Things I never could have dreamed of. There are mysteries I ache to solve, Dark Arts that call out to me like siren songs. I’ve tasted the freedom that magic provides, magic that is limited in civilization but boundless and magnificent when met in nature in its rawest and truest form. I’ve seen a glimpse of endless possibilities and I _yearn to learn everything._ But when I close my eyes all I see is you.”

 

He cupped her face with a hand, fingers threading through her soft red tresses.

 

“I see the green of your eyes, your radiant smile. The smell of your hair, the warmth of your voice and your brilliant mind. When I close my eyes all I see is you and the world fades away. All the wonders and magic out there pale in comparison to you, Harry. Every time I close my eyes I wonder what I’m doing out there without you. What I mean to find out there, when my whole world is here—is you.”

 

He touched his forehead to hers. Harry couldn’t breathe, overwhelmed by all the emotions and closeness. She could hear his heartbeat, feel his breath fan across her face. Her own heart felt like it was tattooing its way out of her body. His touch was hot on her skin. She was all nerves in this moment and could barely think. And still, his dark eyes bored into hers with unwavering intensity. At this rate she’ll explode with tension.

 

“Harry, you’re everything to me. I love you. I love you more than anything. I _need_ you more than anything.” Tom squeezed his eyes shut.

He continued in a trembling voice, “Please, let me love you. Let me be by your side.”

 

The last words were breathed against her mouth before he moved to press his lips to hers softly. The tenderness moved her to tears. Tom leaned further into the kiss, his other hand reaching up to cup the back of her head. Harry was surrounded by him, could feel but him, oh Merlin, he was kissing her! She felt like crying and simultaneously melting into his embrace. Every inch of her was tingling as he pressed closer and closer. She gripped his robes to anchor herself but could not stop shivering. Something was building and at the same time breaking inside her. She felt fragile and at a tipping point—of what she couldn’t tell.

 

She gasped when his lips released her for a breath before moving in again, making her whimper helplessly. Then he kissed her cheek, her jaw and moved to trail hot kisses down her neck.

 

“Tom!”

 

“Let me take care of you.” A kiss to her pulse. “Please”.

 

Harry gasped for air.

 

“Tom—stop. Stop.”

 

She tugged at his robe and his eyes returned to her face. Catching her breath she tried to gather her thoughts.

 

“This—this isn’t right. We can’t. You’re—“

 

“I’m not a child, anymore, Harry.” Tom said with a hard voice, frowning. “And you’re not my guardian, anymore.”

 

“I still raised you, Tom! This is wrong—“

 

“Who says this is wrong? Other people? Since when do we care?” He brushed a lock behind her ear.

 

“What’s the world to us, Harry? When there is only you and I? How is this wrong when it feels so right? My feelings for you, Harry…Sometimes I feel like you are the only thing real in this world. And my love for you is the only truth I know.”

 

Harry sucked in a breath and pushed against him gently but firmly to get some space between them, but he held her close.

 

“Tom, have you ever considered _my_ feelings?”

 

“Say that you don’t love me.”

 

“W-what?”

 

“Say that you don’t love me and I’ll step back”

 

Despite his challenging tone he couldn’t fully hide his fear that she might deny him. After all these years of devotion he still doubted her love for him. The need to reassure was suddenly overwhelming.

 

“But I do. Tom. I do love you and you know that. With all my heart—“

 

This time the kiss was bruising, the heat in it almost unbearable. The attack left her breathless. Stumbling backwards she was only kept upright by his hold on her when her back hit the wall. He deepened the kiss, making her arch into his touch. Her whole body was singing in his arms.

 

“Let me show you how much you mean to me. Please. Harry.”

 

She met his heated gaze, dark eyes imploring her full of desire and more. Her chest heaved with heavy breaths in tandem with his. She felt uncertain. What did she expect, though? That he would come back and everything would be like before? That he would let the issue go? Harry, of all the people should know that once obsessed Tom would not rest until he got what he wanted. And she had never been good at denying him anything. If she took this step towards him it’ll be like jumping off a cliff, a free fall, a plunge into deep waters and no resurfacing. Right now, though, her soul was soaring. She hadn’t realized how badly she had missed Tom, how much she needed his presence.

This, whatever this was, it felt like finally coming home and finding a place in the world and she craved it just as much as Tom. It was like their souls were calling for and pulling at each other.

 

Could she love him like this? Maybe she did already.

 

Hands reached up to gently hold her face, warm air mingled with her breath bringing her back to the presence. A soft whisper.

 

“Let me love you, Harry. Like this. And every other way.”

 

She closed her eyes and fell.

 

 

 

 

“Okay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think Tom would ever leave her like that, though.


	4. Sunday Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is something else entirely, again. A future set in the au "kiwi" by slexenskee. Harry and Gellert have kids, Tom loves them, happy Sunday lunch everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a fanfiction of a fanfiction ("kiwi") of a fanfiction ("crawlersout"). We're getting Inception-levels deep here.

A puff, a rain of cinder and green sparks. Tom was home. Shaking his head and brushing some ash off his shoulders he stepped out of the fireplace and looked around to take in the familiar surrounding—only to take a step back again.

In front of him stood a most hideous looking creature. Floppy ears and wrinkly face, a broad grin and huge shiny plate like eyes gazing up at his with utmost reverence. Tom took in the sight that greeted him: small hands wringing in a show of nervousness, a weird oversized tunic blanketing a short body down to its knobbly knees and Harry’s snitch socks cove— _Harry’s snitch socks_? And is that—hold on—isn’t that _his Slytherin tie_ around its waist? What the—

 

“D-Dobby, Dobby is most honoured to make the acquaintance of the most precious Master Tom! Dobby is very happy to finally meets Master Tom! Dobby has heard many wonderful stories about yous!!” An onslaught of breathless sentences hit Tom.

 

A _house elf._ Suddenly it clicked. So this is Harry’s secret to her sudden “improvement” of her cooking and baking skills. He had been wondering ever since the cookies she sent him stopped being rock hard and became downright delicious.

 

“…Dobby. The- the pleasure is all mine.”

 

“Please, Master, make yourself at home!” The impossibly huge eyes became even wider, the joyousness turning into despair in a flash. “I-I’s mean, of course this is your home! Yous grew up here! Yous already made yourself at home! Stupid Dobby!”

Suddenly, Dobby moved to the fireplace. Tom watched in bewilderment when Dobby took a fire iron in his hands to—Salazar help him—smash his own head in?

“Dobby no—“

 

Tom stopped the house elf in time to prevent a brainy stain on Harry’s neat carpet. To his shock Dobby started wailing.

“D-D-Dobby has failed! Dobby wanted to make a good impression on the great Master Tom but Dobby is stupid!” Here he tried to seize the fire iron from Tom’s hands. Tom struggled. Maybe he should just let go and rid himself of this uncomfortable show of emotions and immense stupidity? No, a voice of reason said in his head, this is not the right way to start a Sunday lunch.

 

“No, Tom, this is not the right way to start a Sunday lunch.”

 

Tom turned around to see his brother standing by the doorway, grinning widely at the duo. Tall, blond, handsome and _smart_. A cheerful kind of charming—that was his brother in a nutshell. _And Harry’s eyes._ A flash of fondness crossed Tom’s face.

 

“Leon.”

 

“And think of the brain stains, they’re a pain to remove.” Tom’s eye twitched. He looked at his brother with suspicion.

 

“I though you never bothered to learn legilimency?”

 

Leon laughed. “Oh please, like I need legilimency to see into the depths of your soul and your wicked mind.”

 

“Master Leon” Dobby squeaked, forgetting the iron. “I knows a very good ways to get rid of brain stain!” He had switched into an eager mood. Merlin, he is going to give Tom a whiplash.

  
“We have a house elf, now?” Tom was not one to state the obvious, but he was so baffled.

 

“We have a Dobby, now!” Leon corrected him, finding everything very funny.

“A special kind of house elf brand.” Tom stared at him, then turned his eyes to the elf in question. Dobby, who was wearing clothes.

 

“Where did she get herself a free elf?”

 

“I know right? A happy free elf! That’s so wicked!” Leon looked very excited. “Did you know that only one out of thousand house elves has the disposition to want freedom? It’s still unclear where this innate need to serve derives from. If they were conditioned at one point than it must have been ages ago so that this feature has been passed down through genes! You see, they can _literally_ die from depression when you set them free against their will! The chemicals released in their brains the moment they are confronted with clothes alone are—“

 

His brother babbled on while Tom considered the fire iron in his hand.

Finally, he decided to vanish it rather than putting it back only for Dobby to grab it during his next fit of craziness.

 

“Yes, thank you, Leon, for your insights. I never knew.”

 

“I know, that’s why I’m telling you! It’s fascinating—“

 

“Leon, where’s Harry?”

 

“In the garden…or kitchen?” Tom made his way deeper into the house trying to ignore the constant chitchat of his brother and the excited house elf in his tow.

 

“We only just recently found out about that fact after Newt rescued a bunch of them from a mad man’s lab who wanted to learn more about that particular feature (nothing wrong with that) and _tortured_ them by confronting them repeatedly with clothes pretending to set them free (so wrong). They were a _mess_ , Tom, a mess! Took us _ages_ to—“

 

A high giggle erupted from the kitchen, followed by a low murmur. They drew nearer to the source in time to see a certain Dark Lord holding a delighted Harry in his arms, nuzzling her hair.

  
“Tom!! I didn’t hear you coming home!”

  
“Hi Harry.”

 

Her grin split even wider and her emerald eyes sparkled with joy as she hugged him tight. Well, Gellert must have been very distracting if she couldn’t hear Dobby’s wailing, Tom mused, throwing Gellert a dirty look just because he could. Gellert just laughed _~~fondly~~_ at him and let him have his moment to melt into the best place on earth—Harry’s warm embrace. Tom closed his eyes. _Home._

“Hey, where is _my_ hug, brother mine?!”

 

\--

 

“I think I’m close to finding the ultimate niffler-safe locking spell! Which is a feat, I tell you.”

 

“That sounds unbelievable.”

  
“I know! It’s an art of its own, I feel like I should get some kind of award for this achievement. Did you know that niffler can…”

 

 _Did you know_ , probably Leon’s favourite words. He was only half listening to his brother while he happily went on about nifflers and hippogriffs and _Frank_ (who was that again?) and you name it. They were sitting at the table across from each other, waiting for the rest of the family to gather for lunch, each nursing a refreshing glass of apple juice from the garden, Spot winding about their feet. Harry was busy in the kitchen and refused to let them help, she wanted to surprise them or something. The kitchen was crowded anyway, Gellert and Dobby were assisting her. (As it turned out, the house elf once belonged to the Malfoys and Harry “accidentally” set him free on one occasion.) That left the brothers time to catch up on their lives. Tom had been busy revisiting South America and thus had missed a couple of Sunday lunches. Leon, for that matter, had also been across the country. However, while Tom was delving into necromancy and other sorts of dark arts, most of his time, Leon was up to his neck in one infamous suitcase full of magical creatures. The other times, Leon was busy helping Newt look for and rescue even more beasts to jam into that zoo.

It was actually quite impressive Tom had to admit.

 

Growing up a Parselmouth Leon soon wanted to be able to talk to all creatures under the sun. He remembers days when a young Leon would stare intensely at flobberworms and birds and other animals that lived in their garden trying to hold a conversation with them. A good many cups of ice creams were needed to dampen his disappointment after most of the attempts. Newt Scamander became Leon’s hero and he started writing letters to Newt. Newt was over the moon when he learned that Leon could talk to snakes— Leon’s apprenticeship was secured. Now, one and a half year after graduating from school, Leon was living his dream.

 

“…the weirdest kind of mating dances. Who’d have thought that of flobberworms, right? You’d think they’d manage some form of elegance what with their elongated windy bodies resembling those of the snakes—“ at this Spot gave an indignant hiss, Tom agreed, how could his brother compare a _flobberworm_ to such a magnificent animal, ever? “—Which are poise and smoothness wrapped in the most wonderful creatures out there, Spot, you need to understand this as a compliment” Spot merely slithered his tongue in a way equivalent of a huff and an eye rolling. “It’s the sticky parts, you know.”

 

That’s it. He’d draw the line at bloody flobberworms’ mating habits.

  
“Leon, could you shut up about flobberworms for a second. Also, I can’t remember our last conversation that wasn’t about some creature or other…”

 

“Oh, but I do!” Leon wiggled his eyebrows. “When we had that fine firewhiskey and you couldn’t stop talking about one Margaret Buchanan! What’s going on on that front anyway? Have you seen her since returning? Don’t make her wait, buddy—“

 

Tom scowled, well, his attempt at a topic change backfired. He ignored Leon’s question.

 

“Remind me again why I put up with you.”

 

“Family obligations, of course,” Leon quipped. “Don’t fool yourself into thinking there is any brotherly affection lost between us. “

 

“Of course not. You got more love for flobberworms as it is.”

 

“I’d choose a flobberworm’s mating dance to any tedious talk with you any day.”

 

 _“Spot, bite him”_ Spot lifted his head and looked between them.

 

_“Don’t be silly. Spot you’ll do no such thing”_

_“I brought you your favourite treats from Brazil, Spot. They say this batch is especially delicious.”_

_“Spot, don’t forget I just fed you a variety of Newt-Specials for snakes. You won’t be able to enjoy any more if you bite me, right?”_

Spot glanced at Tom before leaning into Leon, slithering his tongue close to his ear.

 

_“Maybe I could bite you a little?”_

 

Leon laughed out loud taking Spot’s head between his hands and rubbing it hard.

 

_“You’re so greedy, you fat snake!”_

 

Spot gave an exasperated hiss.

 

_“And you know Tom would never deny you any treats, anyway, he is a softie like that.”_

Tom moved fast but Leon didn’t miss a beat. Tom’s curse hit his brother’s protection shield with a flash. Leon grinned at him. When Tom smirked back in satisfaction he frowned. Instinctively he padded his upper body and head for any sign of damage.

 

“Tom! My hair!!” They stood up on all ends and were a sparkling pink.

 

“What the—I blocked it!” He started applying various counter curses without success.

 

Tom chuckled. “A special invention of mine. Blocking it sets off a second curse of similar effect which moves around the shield.” He looked smug.

 

“You’ll have to grow it out.”

 

“Oh haha, brother, so this is what you do in your free time? This is your fearsome kind of dark arts? Mighty impressive.” Leon grumbled, as another spell proved useless.

 

“For Merlin’s sake!” He sent a curse flying at Tom, who dodged it easily. Soon spells flew back and forth between them. When yellow glitter started raining down on Tom Leon seemed to decide they were even and they dropped their wands as the others joined them.

 

“Boys, what’s this? No cursing at the table, you know that!” Harry chided them.

 

Gellert took in the scene with amusement and flicked his wand. The glitter disappeared and Leon’s hair turned back to normal.

  
“Ha! Thanks, Dad!”

 

Tom scowled at Gellert’s smug grin. Trust the Dark Lord to counter every darn curse he came up with.

 

“Dobby,” Harry called out cheerily, pulling out the chair next to hers “come sit with me!”

 

Dobby stared at her with his huge eyes, fidgeting with the tunic.

 

“M-mistress Harry, are you sure?”

 

“Of course, Dobby, you helped making the meal, you should eat with us! And I told you not to call me Mistress! You’re a friend, not a servant!”

 

“Oh, here it comes.” Gellert muttered.

 

Dobby’s eyes filled with tears.

 

“M-mistress Harry is too kind.” And then to Tom’s shock he started wailing while climbing the chair. Leon and Gellert looked amused.

 

“It’s the same show everyday.” Gellert mused. “I wonder when he’ll get used to Harry’s ways.”

 

Tom looked aghast. “Everyday?”

 

“Where’s Aster?” Gellert asked. “She’s not here, yet?”

 

Leon huffed. “Like she’s ever on time! Didn’t she want to stay at school, though? Something like spending time with Hugh—er, huge books—“ He cleared his throat. “studying?” Leon gave his father an innocent look. Tom coughed. Nice save—or not, judging by Gellert’s dark look.

 

“Who is Hugh?”

 

Aster hadn’t told him about her boyfriend, yet, for her boyfriend’s safety. It was bad enough when Tom had found out. Whatever, he guessed Hugh should be warned and prepared by now—and recovered from his encounter with Tom.

A noise from the fireplace announced the arrival of the girl in question.

  
“Family! I’m home!” A cheery voice rang through to them. They looked up to see the teenager approaching the table with a bounce in her step. Harry moved to wrap her in her arms giving her a peck on the cheek. They looked very similar, having the same warm smile and unruly red hair. Aster was slightly taller, though, freckled across her nose and blue-eyed like her father.

 

Dobby, too, flustered received a hug and a “Good to see you! So no burned food then, yay!”

 

Aster then threw her arms around Gellert’s neck. “Dad!”

 

“Aster, darling, I hope you are well. How’s your boyfriend?” Gellert asked casually. Leon’s eyes widened at the same time as Harry scolded “Gellert!”

 

“Oh, Hugh is fine, I told him it’s the first Sunday lunch with Tom after his travels and that I really wanted to be here, so we changed our plans…” It finally clicked and Aster drew back with a gasp to stare at her father in shock, paling.

 

Tom frowned. She was rather easy to trick. Maybe he should keep a closer eye on Hugh, lest he took advantage of her carelessness.

 

“I-I mean who? Who is fine?”

 

Her father’s eyebrows were drawn together and he opened his mouth to say something, scowling, when Harry cut in.

 

“That’s lovely, Aster. I’m glad you joined us!” She put a calming hand on Gellert’s knee. He frowned. “We’ll discuss this later. “ He said. Aster swallowed.

 

She went on greeting Leon and ruffling his hair, to his displeasure (“What’s it today, everyone stop messing with my hair, what’s it ever done to you!”).

And then Tom was pulled into her arms and squeezed.

 

“Tom!” She squealed. “It’s so good to see you!! I missed you so much!”

 

“Aster, let me breathe.” Tom huffed.

 

She straightened and looked at him expectantly, eyes shining joyously. Tom huffed again and reached into his pocket. He took out a beautiful ornamental comb and gave it to his excited sister. Her eyes brightened even more.

 

“Oh, Tom it’s gorgeous!! Thank you!!”

 

It was pretty and detailed. Thin golden threads were interwoven to look like branchlets with flowers of sapphires to match her eyes.

  
“Here, let me.”

 

Tom took it from her hands to put it into her hair. Immediately, her curls intertwined and braided themselves into a neat fashion. Harry gasped delightedly and Aster reached up with a hand to touch the work.

 

“It’s spelled to make up the hair automatically when used. The hairstyle varies each time you use it.”

 

“Oh, Tom, this is ingenious!” She kissed him on the cheek happily. Tom’s lips twitched into a satisfied smile.

 

Leon chuckled, “Tom, what’s with you and your sudden penchant for hair? You wanna tell us something? Do you have a new calling? And where is my present, anyway?”

 

“I’m sorry, I’ll remember to get you a pretty hair dress next time.”

 

“Something that goes with my eyes, too, please.” Leon said deadpanned.

 

Aster turned to Leon. “Oh, don’t be jealous, you get to travel with him in a couple of days!” She sighed wistfully, “I wished I could come with you.”

 

“Old news, Aster, you’re still in school and too young and uncool to tag along.”

 

“Leon!”

 

Harry clapped into her hands. “Ok, kids, Aster, sit, the food is getting cold! I made your favourite dishes! With just a little bit of help! Dig in!” Gellert chuckled.

 

\---

Lunch was pleasant with delicious food and the conversations were kept lively with jabs and quips between the young people, laughter and the occasional crying from Dobby.

 

“When are you two leaving again? Do you have everything planned out already?”

 

“In three days.” Tom answered. “We’ll drop by Hogwarts first to check on the Basilisk and to fetch Hagrid. He wanted to visit the dragons with us.”

 

“Yeah, he actually hasn’t seen any, yet,” Leon added, ”it’s gonna be great!”

 

“Oh, I didn’t know you’re taking Hagrid with you.”

 

Harry smiled, she’d always been rather fond of this particular classmate of his.

 

When she met him on one of their trips to Hogsmeade wandering around by himself he quickly warmed up to her (naturally, for who doesn’t) and she insisted on him joining them for a butterbeer (to Tom’s exasperation, of course). She knew of his love for creatures and asked Tom about him every now and then. He was a Gryffindor, though, and moved in different circles, so he didn’t really care. Still, when fifth year came he somehow found himself convincing Hagrid to set free an acromantula baby into the Forbidden Forest to avoid expulsion instead of turning him in. He couldn’t quite explain, but he had a feeling that Harry would have been upset otherwise. After that, Hagrid often tried to talk to him about his “pets”. Tom, in his exasperation, set him up with his also creature-crazy brother to become pen pals, thus started a lively correspondence between Leon and Hagrid, and later on Newt. Hagrid became the Keeper of Keys and Grounds of Hogwarts and had started an apprenticeship to become a Professor for Care of Magical Creatures. He was alright.

 

“Just make sure he doesn’t come back with a dragon egg in his pocket!” Aster said.

Harry choked on her drink.

 

“How is it going with building the Basilisk’s habitat, Leon?” Tom asked.

 

“Oh, going swell and almost done, Newt is so excited and he has managed to invent a pair of eye covers for her that keep us safe from dying—“ (“Merlin save us all” Gellert muttered)“—while the Basilisk can still look unhindered. Win-win. The next trip will be with Newt to bring her home.”

 

“How did you make her agree to your plans? Isn’t she bound to Hogwarts?” Gellert wondered.

 

“Surprisingly, she is bound to the heir of Slytherin but no to the walls of Hogwarts. I told her she’d have company and better food than the occasional rat. And that we’ll eventually find a nice patch of nature where she can settle and enjoy freedom. Hogwarts isn’t defenceless without her, after all and she deserves more than cold stones.”

 

“Does Dumbledore actually know of her?”

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

Gellert laughed and took a sip of wine. “Fantastic.”

 

Leon let out a happy sigh, “Man, absolutely fantastic, I can’t wait to meet her in person. She still hasn’t a name, though, Tom? Maybe you should give her one, otherwise you’ll regret it once Newt comes up with one.”

 

“What? Why?” Leon only laughed in response.

 

Harry hummed, “It sounds like a great plan. No creature should be locked up all on their own in the dark. I wonder if that case is safe enough, though…” Gellert patted her hand comfortingly.

 

“You should visit Newt’s case some time! It’s marvellous! And talk to the Basilisk, Newt would love that!” Leon claimed excitedly.

 

Harry stared at her son with an odd look. “Er—yeah, maybe…”

  
Gellert looked slightly ill. “I don’t know if I want any of you close to that creature once out of sight of Tom.”

 

“But Dad,” Aster spoke up “we’re all Parselmouths! It’s gonna be fine!”

 

“There’s no need to worry” Tom remarked. "She’s loyal to me and will do what I say. She won’t harm anyone, she’d even keep her eyes closed indefinitely if I were to ask that of her.”

 

“See, she’s harmless!” Leon said.

 

“Now you’re talking like Newt.” Harry commented drily.

 

“Well, I do work with him.” Leon smiled.

 

“Scared, Gellert?” Tom jibed at him.

 

Gellert narrowed his eyes. A kiss to the corner of his lips made him turn to Harry. “There, there, we’ll visit the Basilisk together, I’ll hold your hand.“ She grinned.

 

“I’m not—I mean—“ he stuttered, “you’re all not very reasonable when it comes to sports and creatures. I just want to remind you all to be more aware of certain perils and that you all have a twisted sense of danger.”

 

“Yes, Dad.” Gellert scowled further at the amused looks the others sent him.

 

The Great Dark Lord, flustered, helpless in the face of his family’s reckless nature and _scared_ of a snake. What a sight. Tom grinned into his drink. He loved their Sunday lunches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tom spoils his siblings, Leon gets a basilisk from him:) I imagine both Leon and Aster graduating from Ilvermorny.  
> I've lost myself a bit in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them movie, Newt is the cutest and I want that suitcase and a niffler.  
> Thanks for reading!^^


	5. Tom finds out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom finds out about Harry's time traveling. Let's assume it's common knowledge that Voldemort was Tom Riddle in Harry's future. Or Tom has been toying with the name Voldemort to recognize the connection between himself and his alter ego from another dimension...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year! This chapter feels super stilted and I don't know if the reactions are plausible or in character. But I had fun, enjoy:)

 

 

 _i carry your heart with me (i carry it in_ _  
my heart)_

 

 

“Did he get lost on his way to a photo shooting?”

“Is this our latest investment? Because, damn.”

“Oh my God, he is fine.”

“Harry! Harry!” One of her colleagues nudged her.

“Hm? What?” Harry didn’t look up, deeply immersed in her work.

“Harry!” Merlin, they were noisy today.

“What is it?”

“He is looking at you! Do something!”

 

They were slightly annoying. Their planned coffee break was in, like, 3 minutes, she would be finished with her report by then if they didn’t interrupt her for gossip. With a sigh she looked up. Her colleagues were gathered around her cubicle like a bunch of excited schoolgirls giggling and ogling. What a sight.

“Who?” She followed their line of vision and choked on her spit.

 

Tall, dark and handsome was standing by the elevator. A simple, yet very stylish black coat snug fit around his form, his long legs ended in polished shoes. With his hair neatly swept back, high cheekbones and that sinful mouth he sure looked like he stepped out of a GQ magazine. His perfect eyebrows were pulled together into a small frown. He was looking in their direction, his laser focus solely on her. Oh no. Oh Merlin. “Oh hell.”

 

“Harry, do you know him?”

 

She jumped to her feet. “I’ll be right back.”

 

Eyes fixed on him, she quickly moved around tables and colleagues. Up close his gaze was intense, yet scarily unreadable. Harry shivered.

 

“Tom.” Words escaped her. Blimey, this was not how she had planned on telling him. She touched his elbow and led him into the luckily deserted break room. Her heart beat like a drum.

 

“Tom, how—how did you get here?”

 

His face was carefully blank.

 

“I was wondering where you were going. I followed you.” He bored his eyes into hers.

“This is the future. You travelled through time.” He leaned in closer, her heart skipped a beat.

 

“Harry. Did you ever plan on telling me?” His tone was calm but his eyes were wild, dark, dangerous, his coolness was close to breaking.

 

“I—yes—no—I mean, it’s more like dimensions not time, I—let me explain but not here, I’ll,” She took a deep breath, it was really hard to focus under this particular stare. “Look, give me five minutes to sort my things and then we’ll go home and I can explain everything. Please?”

 

He let her squirm underneath his scrutiny before giving a tense nod.

 

“Ok, good, excellent, wait here, ok? Five minutes! I’ll be right back!” She rushed to the door, cast one last look back at him. He didn’t move from his spot. “Five minutes!”

 

Quickly she gathered her things, send an email to her boss, ignored the comments and looks of her colleagues and ran back to Tom. The breakroom was empty.

 

 

 

In the end, she found him sitting on their porch. His face was cast in a golden light while he watched the sun set. It softened his edges and highlighted his cheekbones, the curve of his lips. His hair looked slightly ruffled, windswept, or maybe he had been running his hand through it—so unlike him. As she drew nearer he did not acknowledge her. In his hands he clutched a rolled up Daily Prophet—from her future.

 

“What is this,” he said finally, staring at the horizon. “What is this world.”

 

He sounded so lost. She felt like being stabbed in the heart. With heavy steps she moved to sit down next to him. He refused to meet her gaze.

 

She sighed. “Tom…I’m so sorry—“

 

“Don’t,” At last, his blank expression crumbled. There was hurt in his eyes and a tremble to his voice. Harry ached to ease his pain but she wasn’t sure how.

She carefully touched his hand.

 

“I understand that...it’s a lot”.

 

Tom choked on a laugh, “it’s a lot, yes.”

 

She rubbed her thumb soothingly over his hand.

 

“I’m sorry you had to find out this way. I wished—I can explain. I should have explained earlier…it’s just. I don’t know,” _such a mess_ , she thought.

When she got no response from Tom she cleared her throat. “What, um, what did you find out? Er, about, about the Wizarding World?” Merlin, her nerves were frayed.

 

“Everything”, he squeezed the Daily Prophet tightly. “Everything, Harry.”

 

Tom was out of his depths. After leaving Harry’s office he spent the rest of the day wandering through Boston, flashy advertisements and noisy cars passed him in a colourful, loud blur. The Muggles around him wore weird clothes and talked into strange devices or to themselves more often than not. The buildings were enormous and looked modern and the streets were broader than he was used to. Every once in a while a plane flew over his head.

 

Eventually, he found and entered the Wizarding World. It was overwhelming, though the Muggle world seemed to have evolved on a vaster scale, his heart jumped in his throat with every new and strange discovery he made in the world he was born for and knew so well.

 

He found a bookstore, he skimmed the papers and gathered enough information to connect the dots. Tom and Harry’s fate were intertwined in this future as well, but in the ugliest way imaginable. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it. He didn’t know what to make of this knowledge. Regardless, he felt hurt, shame and guilt coil in his stomach because of his deeds in this world, the harm he had done to Harry. Harry. His precious Harry.

 

He couldn’t imagine ever hurting her. Logic dictated that this wasn’t his future, anyway (dimension travel, she said), at least, Voldemort was not his future. The dark lord was another person with a  different life. It scared him. Would this have become of himself if Harry had not been there to care for him? Could one step in the wrong direction destine him to such a life and purpose?

 

Logic was a friend abandoning him in this moment. What if this was his future? What if by some twist of fate he became this monster? It would mean a woefully short life. And worse, failing Harry. A future without Harry by his side.

He knew that he was easily corrupted, always one step away from diving into the Dark Arts and never emerging from it again. Harry was his anchor to everything good in his world. But what if he failed her, what if he lost her? This was yet another thought he couldn’t bear, harm coming to Harry—or her giving up on him.

 

The biggest question that ran through his head was why. Why did Harry go to him? If she knew who he was—her future enemy—why would she take him in and raise him? Did she want to save him? Or save the world from him? Was she driven by guilt because she killed him? Did she actually care for him or was he a mission, another burden in her life she had to carry to whatever end she had in mind? Was all of this, his life with Harry by design? Were her feelings all designed? Should he feel sorry and guilty for binding her to him in such a way? Was she happy with him? Did she lie to him?

 

Suddenly, he was overcome by sadness. He should feel betrayed, he thought. Anger would be better than this. Anger gave cause to action and strengthened determination. This was Tom in the orphanage again, unsure of Harry’s love, scared of being abandoned by the single light in his life.

 

“Tom, look at me.”

 

“No.” He didn’t want to look at her. He didn’t want to see her love turned into something else. Pity. Regret. Now that the truth was out maybe she didn’t feel the need to hide her true feelings anymore. Maybe she harboured deep hatred for him. Was this a sick form of revenge on the Dark Lord? To consume him heart and soul, becoming the sun of his universe only to drop him? To make him suffer for his crimes? Tom, Voldemort, Harry, the Girl-Who-Lived, the future, the past—the lines blurred and he couldn’t think straight. He didn’t want her to see how shaken he was.

Gentle fingers caressed his cheek and turned his face to her. He closed his eyes.

 

“Look at me.” She touched her forehead to his. He swallowed. So close, yet he had never felt so small, so far away from her splendour. He felt her sigh against his lips.

She continued in a soft voice.

 

“Tom, whatever you’ve found out, it is only half of the story. And it is a very long story. And…you should—you should have learned it from me first. Please hear me out.”

When he still said nothing she heaved another sigh. Oh, what can you do. Where should she even begin to explain. How do you put years of agony and a lifetime of enmity turned soulmate love story into a few words?

 

“Once upon a time,” _like a fairy tale_ , her inner voice chided. She definitely should have thought this through, “there was a boy. He was lonely and abandoned. He grew up in a war. He knew what it’s like to fear for his life, to go hungry to bed.  To doubt the safety of a roof above your head. He fostered hatred in his heart, and never learned to love.

And then he found out that he was a wizard. Hogwarts taught him power, gave him purpose, nurtured his hatred.

He killed my parents.” Tom flinched. “He pointed his wand at me, an infant, because of a prophecy. But the curse backfired and killed him. He vanished and the world was peaceful for a time.” Tom’s frown had deepened. He looked so pained.

 

“I grew up lonely, too, unloved. But I carried hope in my heart. Hogwarts gave me friends, a family, love. But I didn’t know that when Voldemort’s curse backfired, a piece of his soul fused with mine. He survived and I had to face him again. I had to die again for the piece of his soul in me to die. And then I came back and killed him.”

 

“You were a horcrux.”

 

“I was.”

 

“Harry, I don’t understand—Why did you come to me?”

 

Harry paused to think. “It’s hard to tell. I mean, I didn’t really plan this.” Her eyes roved over his face. He still wasn’t looking at her. His mouth was pressed into an unhappy line, a frown marred his perfect features. She wanted to kiss it away.

 

“I was following my gut feeling, I think. When Voldemort was defeated, the world was at peace. But I was restless, I felt lost. And I felt regret.” She had never admitted this to another person. “I never wanted to kill anyone. I had to do it, but it felt wrong. I wished there had been another way to defeat him. I knew about his childhood. We weren’t so different." She squeezed his hand."I thought, if he had been given a chance, love could have healed his wounds. He could have led a different life. My parents could have lived.

So I set out to find you.”

 

“So I’m a charity project.” Pulling his hand free he turned his head away from her. “Another poor soul you can’t help saving.”

 

“No—Tom, I—Tom. Tom, please look at me.” She stroked the side of his face.

“Tom, my love, please look at me.”

 

He wondered why he had bothered to return. He wasn’t prepared for her explanation but why else did he come back? He had hoped she would make it right. That she would soothe his unease and calm him down. Once more he asked of her to heal his world. The least he could do was to man up and face her.

Slowly, he turned to her and met her beautiful green eyes. He was thrown by the pure adoration and warmth that was solely directed at him. Harry smiled softly and his heart leapt into his throat, choking him. It was all he could do not to tear up. He felt his tension crumble and his lower lip tremble.

 

“When his soul died in me, it left a gap. I missed a piece of myself. I felt incomplete. I didn’t know I missed a part of my soul until I found you. You,” here she pressed her palm against his chest, “make me feel whole. Don’t you see? I need this as much as you do. I saved myself as much as I saved you.”

 

A small gasp escaped his lips. His eyes were dangerously wet. She looked at him beseechingly.

 

“Tom, the thing we have, everything between us, is real. We are two souls in one heart, in every world. It was broken and painful in my world but everything I could have hope for in ours.

“And this,” she cupped his face in her hands, “us, here and now, is all that matters.”

 

Tom blinked. A tear escaped his lashes and Harry brushed it away.  He let out a shuddering breath. “I have so many questions.”

Harry smiled, “We’ll talk.”

She leaned in, her lips ghosting over his. He closed the distance. The gentlest of kisses. A touch of two souls.

_i carry your heart with me (i carry it in_  
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere  
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done  
by only me is your doing, my darling)  
i fear  
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want  
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)  
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant  
and whatever a sun will always sing is you  
  
here is the deepest secret nobody knows  
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud  
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows  
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)  
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart  
  
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

_by E.E. Cummings_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! Thank you @slexenskee for the amazing fanfic <3


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